if she had been born even a minute later

(there might not have been that this-moment)


the stars would have aligned differently, the cosmos inalterably twinned



& the precise pale of that mist haranguing that lone broomsman


on that hanging hanging pale blue blue bridge



on that one early early morning in turn of the century petersburgh

( she wasn't one who usually got up so early, was it her twin who'd risen?-)


& that precise locking of iris & -
image



that broom & her gripped cognition



born a minute later, it would have been a different altar'd cosmos


a minute minuet of pure- seeing


.an image that would have slipped off the edge of the bridge


an unwritten poem that has squandered it's line

doubt-

its self-pacifying being not solution or faith, but just assurance, validation, a safety, a security, a non condescending compassion, a right to doubt

cheap ethics

only buy books, music, philosophy, film by indie publishers, only teach/attend community colleges, only eat spoiling vegetables & fruits, don't buy anything see anything where over 1001/-rs has been spent for self promotion (friends labor and goodwill presumably are free, no?/), only youtube videos which are original, & less than 1001 views, or shall we be generous & say 10001?, only bloggers with less than 11 followers?, only unpublished (but maybe not unpublishable) dissertations, only poets, philosophers & geometers you are friends with & had become friends with for non philosophical or mathematical or poetical reasons, though its ok if you met the poet for philosophical reasons, only years where the inflation is less than * & wages are more than, & unemployment is exactly _, & where south asians or south east asians & middle asians have won at least one nobel,and... above all don't say or even think anything twice

venerate

there are many times when it is right, apt to mourn, memorate etc, but one must also be able to develop in good conscience (the happy guilt?), right of not mourning someone's death, i e of a not- mourning- without- guilt, or responsibility, / perhaps even a defiance of the demand of death to assignate mourning-

on apologies

it isn't an apology if you say, i'm sorry, but...- this is hard! you have to accept 100% responsibility, a number thats not true of almost any interaction. which proves that apology isn't about the rationale of the encounter, but goes into the realm of the unaccountable uncountable moral, one of the harder & obscurer parts of being human, a friend, lover etc!-there lies your ego spattered on the tip of your tongue, growing up is owning up is hard-

where to begin commentary

at the very end, as much beyond the pale as one's strength can bear- this might be the motto, no one is guilty in some ultimate sense, not stalin or the serial killer, we must find their reason & human innocence beyond what even their self consciousness & self justification & pre-mediate desire (avidhyas) allow-for no human is outside of humanity & we are all somehow ( to the last threshold of our karuna) implicated-

why its impossible

so, adolescents are the largest consumers of a show like friends or sex in the city etc, which is played by 35+ year olds playing 25 year olds ( or equivalent displacements) written or directed by say people in their 40s, 50s- how can one read this consumption, what exactly are the consumers getting, what is that twilight that is twixt the imagined talk of 20+ year olds & their clothing & their body & facial language & their behaviors & their humor. all this is more complex than adults simply intellectualizing a form like animation, lending it a more crafted erudite aesthetic -it is still made in their image. but in one who's mind is forming, it is the blur in its blurring that shapes erratic sense & action & thrall- what they get is impossible to define or reflect on, the author(s) here being simply shizified, avatarized into a multiplicity of hands & heads & meaning & gesture