the quarter in the sky white
moon on the blue hills on
the green traffic arrow-Go
this was outside. the colors clean.
inside, and before, a pianist played
ravel's gaspard de la nuit.
the woman at the piano turned
to a single slather of a
wild calligraphic
stroke
piano keys snake
down the spine
flickering tremollos but all
still plosive
the call of the moral
life of joy
ears grow into elephant wing
strained dough in bubble
piano rises. floats & trans-
ports becomes a fist
banging walls & ceilings
the skull a drum
contra schumann it is
joy that breaks
in the fingers's bones
and falls as love
what a frozen little land
inside the piano.
immensity, it makes one feel
as a single
strand of
hair
in an emptied opera-house.
europe's winter breaking
over the berkeley mediterranean
the moon a white cancerous growing
quarter the traffic still weavering home
up the hill's twistings &
blue tablecloth sunset
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ReplyDeletevery good break on white/moon, a break that allows one to read 'white' as an adjective applying to the sky as well, and also 'sky white' (like sky blue) as a colour.
ReplyDelete'stroke' in a line by itself is good and effective, but am not sure if the same works as well for 'hair'. also not entirely sure of 'immensity' as the first word of a new strophe... just maybe such a 'big'(!)word needs more building up to and ought not to be thrust upon the reader? though the contrast with 'little land' does work.
'frozen little land inside the piano'-- lovely, lovely image (and bang on!) and the preceding lines are lovely too. but consider a break on falls / as love
minor point -- 'tremolos' should have single s not double. 'tremolos' and 'moral'-- nice consonance, but 'moral life of joy' perhaps a bit cliched, even if ironic? (not sure it is)
'hill's twistings and blue tablecloth sunset' -- very nice movement towards a 'picture-perfect' closing image. much enjoyed!
i thought i was twisting schumann's 19c sounding phrase "joy of moral life", & took also immensity from there--but google-d & wiki'd, schumann said nothing of the sort, though can't help thinking that such a familiar phrase. you're right about hair- i was thinking here of the image, & admittedly from a different context, but ignored the sound of hair- maybe should leave it as strand (& on its own line), i don't know, have to think, like it for now, it works well with the earlier stroke.
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